Still Hanging On

Today was my first day back to “reality.” If it’s possible, I might have General Assembly withdrawal. I woke up in need of caffeine and polity. I’m still having dreams about passing overtures and substituting motions.

I’m very much an introvert and there were many times last week when I rushed to my hotel room, locked the door, and didn’t talk to anyone because the convention center rooms were so crowded and noisy. I love talking to people, but sometimes it is too much when you’re with people from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep.

I was grateful to be in worship this morning with the church I serve. I was able to recharge and process some of the last week, but also be welcomed back and remember what I have been called to do.

Someone this past week asked about the church I serve and the context. “It sounds like your church is being called to be a prophetic witness in the community.” This has stuck with me – I could definitely see that.

This church is progressive in theology. We are a More Light church and have made it intentional to be inclusive in worship and welcome. We have a strong social justice ministry and we are unique in the community. I’m grateful to be serving here. As I preached this morning I felt the Spirit move as I haven’t in some time. I generally sense the Spirit, but today it was stronger than usual. Perhaps I was still fired up from the past week, still struck by the march in St. Louis and still passionate about serving people and being in community.

While memories of GA will slowly fade into the background, I pray that the Spirit and strength remain.

The End…?

I thrive on routine. I love being able to know what comes next. Maybe that’s part of the Presbyterian in me – I like things decent and in order. Give me a bulletin with life’s next activity!

I do like changing up the schedule once in a while, especially if I can anticipate the change and plan it out a bit. So, I was excited to have a change of pace this week – still work, but different than my usual office hours. I woke up each morning, exercised, walked to coffee, read the news, started the day. I knew when my meetings were, scheduled time with friends, tried new foods, and slept when possible. It was a different routine, but welcomed.

Today was the last day of that routine, as it is the last day of General Assembly. As I look back over the last week it seems like it has been a month since I arrived. So much has happened, I’ve seen so many people, and time has flown by.

So I am sad that this week has ended. Sad to say goodbye to friends – new and old. Sad that this is the end of a fun time (yes, I said fun). But I am happy to be going home, and returning to a familiar routine.

We ended our time discussing per capita. All General Assemblies end this way to discuss the financial implications of our decisions throughout the week.

We may have increased how much we will spend, but I do believe it is to do good work – the work of the church in the world – paying justly, seeking inclusivity, and working toward peace in the world.

At the end of the assembly there were various recognitions. Perhaps the one that blew me away the most was the one done by the Young Adult Advisory Delegates. They always give thanks tothe co-moderators and Stated Clerk. This year they took an offering to give to three causes in the names of the co-moderators and the Stated Clerk. The YAADs are kind, generous, and the future and present of the church. We have much to learn from them.

Now I have returned home with visions of PC-Biz and voting in my head. I’m exhausted but in a good way. I feel challenged and I hope that as I process over the next couple of weeks I am able to see how to bring the prophetic witness of GA to my community.

Mother God

The picture above was taken inthe convention center where the General Assembly is meeting. I thought this was fascinating because I have never seen anything like it before. I have pumped breastmilk in bizarre places – other people’s offices, airport bathrooms, and the car. You do what you have to when you have to pump.

This picture shows us how far advocacy for women has come, yet women know that we have a ways to go, too.

We addressed and voted on many different issues in today’s assembly. A majority of them dealt with women’s issues.

We passed an overture to respond to the disparities experienced by black women and girls. We also passed a resolution regarding sexual misconduct in the church. In that conversation we discussed gender and patriarchy.

I was thrilled to be able to speak to one of the issues, especially considering I stood for over two hours waiting to speak to an issue, and was never called upon (for various reasons). In a weird series of events I stood in front of the microphone multiple times and the question was called nearly every time, ceasing debate. As much as I love polity and voted to end debate each time, it was frustrating to have something prepared, stand for a long period of time, and then have to sit back down.

When I did speak, I was thankful to have the opportunity. I felt my voice was heard and the amendment passed.

The conversation went well into the night.  I think my favorite part of the evening was when a point of order was called asking when the coffee arrived.

The coffee did arrive. And the debate continued into the night. We finally adjourned after midnight.

Even with the late night, with long conversation, I am so thankful for this experience. I always learn so much about polity and Roberts Rules of Order, and am continually educated on concerns before the church. I appreciate the diversity of thought within the PCUSA, and for continued dialogue.

I thought it was very appropriate that the Young Adult Advisory Delegate who prayed at the end of the day started the prayer with “Mother God.” Amen.

All You Need to Know About the Way Forward (and stuff you didn’t)

My recent blog posts have been about the happenings of the General Assembly of the PCUSA. Today’s summary? I’m tired.

We started earlier today and barely covered one committee (and about two overtures from another committee) and my brain feels fried. You wouldn’t think sitting all day in the same place would be exhausting – but it is, especially when you’re thinking critically and praying and making decisions for the whole church.

We did, indeed, think critically. My table friends and I joked that perhaps we are too cynical at times, but we all ended up agreeing that if we don’t look at certain things with a critical eye, we will continue in the same way we have always gone and wonder why it isn’t working.

The Way Forward committee spoke today. This was perhaps the most anticipated bit of overtures because it has some serious implications for the structure of the PCUSA. Now, if you aren’t in the PCUSA, this probably won’t look too sexy. Even if you are in the PCUSA, you might be wondering what the impact will be on the church as a whole. This certainly won’t draw protestors like overtures at previous assemblies, but it certainly caused a stir here.

The main goal of this committee was to bring some harmony, equality, and inclusivity to the agencies of the PCUSA. Quick overview: there are six agencies in the PCUSA –

Office of General Assembly (guess what they plan and organize??)

Presbyterian Mission Agency

Board of Pensions (Insurance, etc)

Presbyterian Investment and Loan Program (or, PILP)

The Foundation

Presbyterian Publishing Corporation

This overture also included Presbyterian Women, a separate entity. The committee explained (very well) that these agencies operate like siblings that live under different roofs, but all pay into the rent and utilities of the main household, but do not always benefit from making house rules.

So, the idea is to give them all a seat at the table of the A Corporation.

I know what you’re thinking right now – “Why wasn’t I at General Assembly for this amazing and interesting conversation??” Well, maybe next time you will be – but for now I’m the lucky one.

Sarcasm aside, it was certainly a learning experience. I did not understand before this that PMA held the majority of the corporation power. I did not understand that the others did not have a voice.

The overture also emphasized the need for translation services, which I think will be a wonderful addition.

We did make a few other decisions today, too. I am proud to be a Presbyterian, because today we made a statement condemning the separation of families and calling out the man who lives in the White House who made the despicable executive order.

I’ll end there for today, because there will be more tomorrow, and, for now, I need to find some rest and introvert time.

Hands and Feet (and Mouth)

Today we marched in the streets for justice. Today we marched for peace. Today we marched for equality. Today we marched to change the system of oppression. Today we marched for tomorrow.

For the first time ever the General Assembly marched in the streets to end cash bail. On Saturday the PCUSA collected money through the offering in worship to set people free. The aim was to set free those who could not afford bail because they sit in jail even though they are “innocent until proven guilty.” These are people who were arrested on minor charges like traffic tickets but could not pay $50 or so in bail money. The PCUSA gave a check for over $47,000 to set people free in Saint Louis.

It is easy for us to pat ourselves on the back and think, “Look what a good thing we did!” Yet, we were reminded before we marched that this money was not ours to begin with – it always belonged to God. We are merely returning our gifts as a holy offering – sharing it with God’s children.

As I marched I began to feel the Spirit move. It was a spiritual and religious experience to be marching in the streets of St. Louis. The sun was hot. I linked arms with strangers-now-friends. We began chanting as led by various people in the crowd.

“No Peace! No Justice!”

“End Cash Bail!”

As one person asked: “Who’s streets?” We responded: “Our streets!” I felt this chant in my soul. “Our streets.” I thought of the many times I have been walking down the street in the middle of the day and been whistled at or catcalled, making me feel unsafe and disrespected and angry. I thought of a time when a man stalked me in his car while I walked in the middle of the day down a street. A woman should be able to walk the streets – day or night – and not have to worry about safety.

Then we began shouting: “Black Lives Matter!” I thought of the young man I know who recently died of a gun shot to the head. His life mattered.

Justice issues are tied together. We march for one, we march for all. We remember we are all God’s children.

This morning in committee we voted on an overture to raise awareness of the decline of black churches in the PCUSA (go to PC-Biz and look under Mid-Councils for the details). We wanted the right wording, and we amended and amended and amended. We amended into lunch time. There was a motion to go into recess for lunch, but we were reminded that while some of us have the privilege to walk away from this issue for a while, others do not. We stayed and worked.

I have to say that this committee was amazing. We were united. We listened to each other. We shared vulnerabilities. My faith is strengthened and deepened because of the people I met and the stories I heard.

Now, today I also realized that I have Hand, Foot, and Mouth disease. Before I go further, let me clarify. 1) It is not the same as Hoof and Mouth Disease – I am not a cow (I don’t even eat cows). 2) I am not contagious (but still being very cautious). 3) I apologize to the person who gave it to me, because I did not fully understand how much the blisters hurt and was not as patient. 4) I apologize if I end up giving it to anyone else – the interesting thing about Hand Foot and Mouth disease is that generally the blisters show up after you are past the contagious aspect, meaning it is too late to take precautions. (Sidebar – I am not a doctor – I merely know how to use a search engine on the internet).

Ok, all that is out of the way.

I found it interesting that I became aware of my having this on the day of the Hands and Feet Initiative. My hands and feet are covered in tiny, painful blisters. It hurts to walk, to write, and looks really gross as the reddish bumps turn purple. I say this, not for pity (I mean, it is just a blister disease – to the healthy person it comes across much like Chicken Pox and doesn’t do any permanent damage). I say this to show that we may not think our hands and feet are always capable. We may not always feel like our hands (or gifts) are “pretty” enough or equipped enough – but they are because God has equipped us. Others may look at someone and assume because of a disability or sex or color or sexual orientation that the person does not have what it takes – but they do. This silly toddler disease is certainly not on par with a disability or the feeling of discrimination, but it might be slightly symbolic of how we often look at the outside and judge the inside. Or how we sell our gifts and abilities short because we don’t look like everyone else. As Rev. Dr. J. Herbert Nelson, Stated Clerk of the PCUSA, said today: “God is saying take the labels off.”

 

Presby-Con

Full disclosure – I didn’t come up with today’s title. But isn’t it great?

Dr. Deborah Krause, professor at Eden Theological Seminary gave a Bible Study this morning about the Gospel of Mark. She addressed General Assembly as Presby-Con (like Comicon, but for Presbyterian geeks). It was funny when I heard it, but rang so true today.

As I mentioned yesterday we began committee work last night. Today it continued. I chaired a sub-committee and was asked a series of questions regarding the business, and answered them to the best of my ability. Being an over-achieved, I had spent some time with the materials and familiarized myself to the best of my abilities. After a minute the guy looked at me, surprised, and said, “You really know your stuff.”

I took it as a good compliment, as up to that point, I had just assumed everyone knew this stuff. But today I found my Presbyterian groove, the place where one of my gifts shone and I recognized, even for a brief moment, why I was called to this committee.

Sometimes we need to be reaffirmed in our calling. We need the positive reminder that God has indeed called us. Sometimes we deny our calling because of a lack of “evidence,” because we don’t understand, or because we do not want to do it. Sometimes we show up without knowing why we are there. Then God shows us. Or, sometimes God doesn’t. Sometimes we make an impact in someone’s life, but never know.

Today, I just knew some Presbyterian polity details. But there are so many people who use their gifts everyday to make a larger impact: feeding the hungry, listening to a friend, bringing a smile to someone.

An example of the latter is found in my picture for today. Meet my new best friend, T Rex. He comes each day with one of the local pastors who welcomes and answers questions that PCUSA folks might have over the course of the week. He is friendly, always says hi to me, and growls like a T Rex. He sort of is like the unofficial GA mascot.

He is a breath of fresh air and joy after a long committee meeting. As he fufills his calling as mascot and uses his gifts of adorableness, he not only brightens my day, but reminds me that using our gifts makes an impact on those around us.

Let your inner Presby geek shine through. Let your light shine through. Let your life shine.

Always With You

The poor will always be with you.

I’ve always hated this passage because it seemingly encourages people to stop caring for the poor. Why try? Aren’t we told not to bang our heads against the wall?

This passage has been rumbling through my head today. In fact, money and how we spend it has been on my mind.

First, I’d like to thank the Academy, also known as a liberal arts college, for teaching me to be critical in my thinking. It has bode well for me many times in my life, but sometimes I’m too cynical. So, I gueds that’s a disclaimer or full disclosure or warning or preview.

i started the day off a bit frazzled. I didn’t sleep well and woke up extremely early. I had woken up multiple times to loud music, honking, and other street noises. As I wandered downtown in search of coffee, I came across homeless men sleeping on the street, covered in sleeping bags. I wondered how they could sleep through the noises I could barely stand through a walk. If you are exhausted enough, you can sleel anywhere. I was then aware of my privilege of walking downtown with my expensive, fancy coffee, while others struggle for bread.

Always with us?

The pre-assembly gathering in which Rev. Dr. Liz Theoharris, co-founder of the New Poor Peoples Campaign, gave a presentation on civil disobedience and how the campaign is being led by poor people to end systemic racism and poverty. It was a fascinating to hear her speak. She (and others) fight for a change in the system – a broken system that punishes those who are oppressed. Rather than fixing issues of water, children sre removed from the home for not having running water.

She has been arrested numerous times for civil disobedience. Most recently she was arrested and the Supreme Court took her bullhorn, flag, and stole as evidence. The stole says: “Jesus was a poor man.”

She is absolutely correct – something has to change. We have to change the system. We have to stop injustice.

Always with us?

Following the pre-assembly session, the group supporting divestment of fossil fuels arrived. They walked from Louisville to St. Louis to make a statement of lessening our carbon footprint. They were singing as they entered: “You cannot love both God and money.” (Pictured above)

To think I was complaining last night to my roommate about paying for wifi.

I am also very aware of how much money is spent at General Assembly. I vaccillate between being extremely grateful for the per diem, and frustrated with the amount of money spent on a plate of generic salad. Did we need to buy new plates and chalices for communion? I read an article before coming to GA that encouraged commissioners to use their per diem to the fullest. I understand this, as it is a sort of “thank you” for all the work commissioners do. Yet, what isn’t used goes back to the church. Which is morally right?

I am attempting to be aware of the poor who are with us.

As I listened to one of the assembly speakers I was also aware of who was with her – her children. Throughout her conversation and presentation her children quietly walked onstage, held her hands, sat peacefully. It was not distracting, but, in fact, encouraging and positive. So many working women have difficulty balancing work and family – in a way men do not have to, nor are expected to balance. Many women end up working while also caring for their children. I do not know this minister’s situation, but I commend her for confidently presenting and being a mother – because the pastor and mother cannot be separated. Children are the future of the church, and we must make space where they can be comfortable.

The election of moderator also took place this evening, and our new co-moderators are Cindy Kohlmann and Vilmarie Cintron-Olivieri. They bring great enthusiasm and unity to the job.

God is always with us.

 

Go, Cubs, Go!

General Assembly hasn’t started, but I have arrived! Above you will see a picture from the top of the Arch. This is not for people who dislike heights (read: me) or people who dislike small spaces (also, me) but worth going just for the experience.

Today the theme was engaging people: old friends and new. I wandered downtown and tried to gather my bearings. I ran into Cubs fans (the best kinds of fans) and quickly made freinds. Then, as I went ip the Arch, I saw more Cubs fans. And more. And even some kid with the retro Cubbie bear shaved into the back of his head. Then, I realized the Cardinals are playing the Cubs. But, I met some people.

Then I arrived at GA and saw some old friends – seminary friends, church friends, and random people I’ve met from over the years. Quick catch ups on the street, and lenghty conversations over coffee. I met my new roommate and we have become fast friends.

This is the beauty of the PCUSA.

We are a connectional church. We gather together and make friends – ones we agree with on policies, ones we don’t – and we greet each other with a hug. We laugh and celebrate when we expand families and share joys, and we cry with each other when we experience loss.

We gather together as Presbyterians and trust each other immediately. I wouldn’t just randomly room with someone from off the street – but a Presbyterian minister? Immediately we’re sharing ridiculous stories and laughing.

I also realized thatthe overtures are already making an impact. My roommate and I went to the store to pick up some groceries but realized we had no dishes or silverware. We bought a package of spoons, and when she went to reach for the styrofoam bowls, we both laughed and remembered the overture about stoppig the use and production of styrofoam – and reached for paper (still not ideal, but when you’re living out of a hotel, sometimes you just roll with it).

Tonight is my deep breath before the busyness. Tonight Iam grateful for friends – old and new – and for Cubs fans near and far.

 

General Assembly

Ten years ago I acquired this fashionable smock. I know. You’re jealous. You should be – it has the PCUSA logo, pockets galore, and ties nicely on the sides to accommodate a growing waistline from eating all the delicious conference foods one will endure.

Ten years ago I was a Theological Seminary Advisory Delegate (or, TSAD for those hip to the lingo – side note – TSAD – worst acronym ever). General Assembly was in San Jose and, as a seminary student, I went as a TSAD. I was super excited to go, and was ready to change the name to TGLAD, but no one else could figure out something for the G and the L. My job as a TSAD was to help people with their computer problems, time speakers, and wake up too early and stay up too late. It wasn’t a glamorous job, but it’s the perfect job for a polity wonk who enjoys PCUSA gatherings. I was challenged as a TSAD and am grateful for the opportunity.

Now, ten years later, I’m going back to GA as a commissioner. So, I had to pull out my stylish smock (not sure if we were supposed to keep those, but, seriously, who wouldn’t keep these??). I’ve spent the past months reading everything possible on PC-Biz, and wondering why someone doesn’t put overtures and comments on tape so I can listen to them while driving. Can you imagine Tina Fey reading overtures from the Church Polity and Ordered Mission Committee? Let’s be honest – if she spoke it, I’d vote for it.

At any rate, I feel as prepared as I can for the journey ahead. I won’t say I’ll post every day, but will try to keep you all updated as best I can. I appreciate your prayers as I take this journey and continually ask: “Where is the Spirit leading the church?” Important decisions are made here, but I also want to affirm that important actions are made everyday in local churches. Yes, polity and networking is important. Communities are formed at GA, and it is a wonderful experience, but I also know that the local churches are out there, working hard, and sharing the good news each day – and for that I am grateful, and am given strength to go as your commissioner to make a difference in this church.